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March 8, 2010 | Victory Over Addictions
By the time I woke up Todd and Mark had already left for work. They left me a note with a key to the front door and told me to make myself at home.
After I prepared my bowl of cereal, I stood out on their back patio and took a moment to once again look out at the beautiful scenery. While soaking in the view and eating one of the grapefruits Sam had given me in Palm Springs, a Flicker Woodpecker flew by and perched itself on the side of a cactus about ten yards in front of me.
Flicker offers the following wisdom:
- Complex use of color
- Connection to open woodlands, savannas, and forest edges
- Secretive movement
- Ability to hear the Earth’s heartbeat – Copyright www.animalspirits.com
Once again I was paying very close attention to the messages from the animals, and my daily Kabbalah meditations. Everything appeared to be in sync.
Since my birthday was July 22, the flicker woodpecker was my totem animal in my Earth Astrology chart. Coupled with the Coyote, which was my “Spirit Keeper” in the same chart, I thought this was very interesting.
The Flicker just sat there for a moment and then suddenly let out this loud yell. As I continued to eat my grapefruit, I looked directly at the woodpecker and replied “Good morning to you, too!” chuckled, and then went back inside to log on to my computer.
Once I logged in, I began posting my resume on CraigsList, in the Phoenix, Tucson, and Sedona areas. I had to remind myself that this was not on vacation. I was looking for a new job, a new place to live, and a way to make some new connections.
I then took a moment to do my daily 72 Names of God meditation, which asked me to address any addictions, selfish impulses or harmful desires that I was carrying with me throughout my journey. At that point, I remembered an email that a friend of mine back in Portland had sent to me regarding the paradox of being self-centered. She wrote, “In Kabbalah, this is in complete alignment with God. It’s called Central Column Focus. In another context, however, it could imply self-indulgence, or seeking fulfillment of the self without regard for others.” The message was a perfect reminder.
A little while later I found myself in an email conversation with Tyson, the guy who responded to my survey the night before. We had a fascinating email discussion about some peoples struggles with religion.
After that conversation I received a call from my apartment manager back in Portland, informing me that he had processed the $200.00 refund on my deposit. I had completely forgotten about this; the extra cash arrived at the perfect time.
I then spent the next few hours figuring out my next destination. I decided that perhaps Tucson, Arizona would be my next stop. I checked out the 10-day weather forecast, consulted the Internet about campgrounds, and then tried to figure out when I would actually head out.
That evening, just as the sun was about to set, I returned to the back patio and experienced the most fantastic sunset. I took the following photos.
A few moments later Todd and Mark arrived home, and we sat down for a nice, relaxing dinner. They went out of their way to make me feel very much at home.
Mark went to bed shortly afterward, and Todd and I sat up and talked about our days at Duke University. He brought up peoples names that I had forgotten entirely. We had a great time reminiscing about the “good old days”. I realized as we were chatting that it was moments like this that made my journey very, very special.
Todd headed to bed around 10:00 PM and I returned to my room to work on my journal. I looked forward to driving into Phoenix the next day to have lunch with Todd, and to return to the gym for another workout.